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Broken Radiator Sideways

He was born in the middle of a story which he had nothing to do with.

Malachi Constant
4 February 1985
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1. this is what happened. money made us sick. money and loneliness that came from listening, that came from never releasing into our purest forms.

2. you are losing all your electricity. i could kill you dark and messy or very bright and slow. you shouldn't be afraid of that. you should be afraid of living empty and thinking you're about to get full. i would have loved you without your body. it only gets in the way.

3. when you were sleeping i would touch you and you look so awful with your eyes closed heavy breathing i would want to suck the life out through your mouth just to make you feel better feel nothing because even sleeping always you have looked so old and so many people have been nothing to you and it makes you powerful but it also makes you forget things you knew from being born.

4. if we'd been children together maybe all of this would be over by now. maybe we could've died at six years old before we knew there wasn't any heaven.

5. the worst part is, i really believe:
you're so beautiful you made me beautiful.

(i wish you'd killed me while i slept beside you.)
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